How NOT to make a PowerPoint Presentation
You start up PowerPoint, and are greeted by its wonderful interface.
You've been pondering that school assignment for weeks now. Now was the time to make a start on it. You stab the title bar with the mouses' pointy end, and slowly type out the most beautiful, elegant title that could rival even the heading of a Royal Gala invite held by- OH GOD NO
There are many mistakes one can make when creating a PowerPoint presentation. These can range madly, from a simple typo, all the way to a formatting disaster. I'll get to that later.
Here is a few of the most frequently occurring formatting horrors:
- Different coloured text on different slides
- Different coloured text on the same slide
- Rainbow text
- Rainbow text but each individual letter is a different colour
- Low-res slide backgrounds
- Slide backgrounds with the text covering the subject of the picture
- Slide backgrounds that are the same colour as parts of or all the text
- Portrait slide backgrounds squashed to fit
- Titles at the bottom of pages
- Rainbow titles
- Titles that are upside-down or sideways
- Varying fonts, sizes, colours, italicization, boldness, underlines or, god forbid, a combination of these in one section of text or even slide
And this is just the tip of the iceberg. Not only should you never include any of the above in your presentations (or combinations of said horrors), to save yourself from the shitstorm that can culminate, there are also specific fonts to avoid.
Most prominently, Comic Sans. Unless your presentation is about hippies of course, then use this godawful font to the fullest extent. Maybe even make it rainbow. In the likely case that it isn't, however, avoid it at ALL COSTS.
Second on the hit list: Chiller. This might have looked cool in grade 3, but this is 2020. Grow the fuck up.
Three: Curlz MT. This is Chiller but it tried to look girly and cursive.
Number four: Burger King Foot Le- just kidding, it's Quartz MS, AKA worse than that meme ever was. It is literally a font of digital clock numbers, but turned into letters. It hurts to look at. There is no difference between lowercase and capitals either.
God help me.
Now, simply mentioning all of these formatting monstrosities doesn't truly portray their forceful habit of inducing vomiting in their audience. I went out of my way to make them into a presentation.
Now I really want to die.
Here you are, ladies and gentlemen, Satan himself, Bill Cipher, any other demon who might take pleasure in this... Lucifer? Alastor? Glad you could all make it!
God this looks like it came straight off of r/okbuddyretard.
Screw that, r/okbuddyretard, r/comedyhitmen, r/copypasta, r/comedyhell, r/shitpost, and r/comedynecrophilia combined.
JESUS CHRIST
Even Satan is gagging. This makes Comic Sans look NICE.
I'm out. This is how NOT to make a PowerPoint Presentation.
Just make anything but this.
